"But, What About Me?"

A Weekend Reset for Your Partner When You're Choosing to Open Up to More

But They're Scared It Means Less of YOU

A 2-Day Guided Digital Workbook + Companion Videos to Help Your Partner Figure Out What THEY Actually Want

Special Pre-Launch Price!

Only $47!

Regular Price

$97

That Sounds Helpful!

You Know What You Want, But Your Partner Is Scared...

Maybe you've already slowed down.

You've reassured them. Over and over. Answered questions. Processed. Negotiated. Had the same conversation in six times in three slightly different ways.

And you DO care about how this is affecting them.

But you also don't want to keep holding yourself back and denying what you want in order for them to feel okay.

The problem is: You can't be the person claiming more autonomy AND the only person your partner relies on to process how they feel about you claiming it.

That's why I made "But What About Me?"

It's a self-guided weekend reset built around a 26-page digital workbook + short companion videos that you can give your partner to help them sort through their own feelings, fears, history, desires, requests and boundaries—without making YOU responsible for figuring all of it out for them.

This isn't something to convince your partner that polyamory is better or pressure them into being okay with what you want.

(They may come back to you with clarity that may NOT actually be what you want to hear. I will be just as fierce of an advocate for them to stand in their truth as I am for you to stand in yours.)

But this is a place for them to figure out what feels right and true for THEM as you have become increasingly honest about what feels right and true for you.

So instead of having another endless processing conversation, the two of you can start having productive conversations about what you actually want and what you're each going to do to care for yourself so that you can better love and accept the other person.

"Wendy's Approach Feels Aligned and Intuitive... It's What I'd Already Believe If I Knew It, But No One's Ever Taught Me."

--Tasia L.

Wendy's Clients Have Appeared in:

What Your Partner Will Walk Away With...

  • By the end of the weekend, your partner will have…

  • Better language for what they're actually feeling, afraid of, and what this situation may be echoing from their past.

  • A clearer picture of what they actually want—not just what they want YOU not to do.

  • Their own non-negotiables, requests, and actions they will take to care for themself.

  • Questions they may not know (or have forgotten) the answer to.

  • A simple framework for communicating what they discovered so the two of you have solid clarity to discuss and move forward with.

The goal isn't to “make your partner okay with polyamory” by Sunday night.

They may actually come out of this clearer that they DON'T want it.

But my goal is to help them figure out what they actually think, feel, want and need—so you can both stop pretending, guessing, negotiating against imaginary futures or what your gut is telling you, and stop processing the same fears over and over again.

This Is For You If Your Partner...

This is a must-have if:

  • Your partner knows that opening up matters to you—and hates feeling like they're asking you to be less of yourself, but they're terrified that letting you be fully yourself could mean losing you.

  • They keep asking you to slow down, wait, reassure them or have another conversation before you move forward—and you're starting to feel like you're holding yourself back.

  • They're scared that you having more freedom could mean being replaced, losing the relationship you have now, or discovering that you don't need them in the same way anymore.

  • You've spent HOURS processing, reassuring, negotiating and going around in circles—and somehow neither of you actually feels better afterward.

  • Your partner is monitoring what you're doing or trying to create limits around your other connections because what you're choosing feels too painful or destabilizing for them right now.

  • You DON'T want to convince your partner that polyamory is “better.” You want them to have space to figure out what THEY actually want while you get to be honest about what you want, too.

What's Inside...

The 26-page digital workbook is delivered as an editable Google Doc with separate tabs for each section.

It's designed for your partner to work through on their own, rather than turning every question into something the two of you have to immediately process together.

Over the course of two days, they'll move through:

  • 🪞 Day 1: Me — What am I feeling? What am I actually afraid of? What is this bringing up from my past? What am I compromising? What do I still love and want to keep? Where am I relying on my partner to regulate feelings I may need to learn to hold differently?

  • ❤️ Day 2: Them — What has my partner ACTUALLY said and done? What am I adding through my own lens? What have they done that has genuinely reassured me? What would I want for them if I weren't afraid of how it might affect me?

  • ✅ Get Real — What are MY non-negotiables? What requests do I actually want to make? And most importantly: What actions can I take to care for MYSELF if my partner is unwilling or unable to give me what I'm asking for?

  • 💬 Tell Them — How do I turn all of this processing into something I can actually communicate?

    What do I appreciate? What do I want to keep? What doesn't work for me? What am I requesting? And what will I do if the answer to my request is no?

If You Want to Give Them a “How To Be Poly” Workbook, This Isn't It...

When you give them this workbook, you're giving them a place to figure out what's true for them.

Whether your partner ultimately chooses polyamory, monogamy, something in between—or realizes the two of you want different things—the skills they're practicing here are still theirs: Separating fear from fact. Figuring out what they actually want. Identifying their own limits. Making clean requests. Deciding what THEY will do next.

And I can't guarantee it of course because I don't know them and they aren't even the one reading these words...but my hope is, and I think it's quite likely, that if they decide to go through this workbook, it will take a lot of pressure off of both of you.

SAY NO MORE.

"But What About Me?"

A Weekend Reset for When Your Partner is Choosing to Open to More—But You’re Scared it Means Less for You

Grab the $47 pre-launch price below. They'll get access to the "But What About Me?" workbook immediately and the videos as they are released.

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Special Pre-Launch Price!

Only $47!

$97 value

As soon as you complete your registration, you'll get access to the video training and can start applying it in all to YOUR conversations....

YOUR INVESTMENT

"Wendy is the most brilliant coach I could ever imagine having. She has gone to the depths of my being (it’s deep in there) and gently coaxed out more of who I am at my essence... I will do a stand-up testimonial for her anywhere, anytime."

Beth Amine

Author, Founder of Joyous Movement, Timeless Lifestyle Influencer

NEED HELP?

Use the red chat button with the heart on the bottom right of this page to send me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP.

Call or Text 773.615.1382 by iMessage, Telegram, Signal or Whatsapp or find me @wendygarrido on Telegram and Voxer

Email Me Anytime wendy@wendygarrido.com

FAQ's - Frequently Asked Questions

Am I supposed to do the workbook too?

Nope. But What About Me? was created for your reluctant partner to work through on their own.

The whole point is to give them somewhere other than YOU to start sorting through what they're feeling, what they're afraid of and what they actually want.

You can absolutely talk about what they discover afterward—but I recommend giving them space to do the workbook privately first.

What if my partner doesn't want to be poly?

That's okay.

This workbook is NOT designed to convince them to want polyamory.

If they work through it and get clearer that “I genuinely don't fucking want this,” that's important information for both of you.

The goal is clarity—not agreement.

Is this going to convince them that I'M right?

No. And if you're going into it with that expectation, I extra encourage you to buy it because they REALLY need to get clear on what they want and need. 😬

They're going to ask themself what they want, what their non-negotiables are, what requests they want to make of you (that they're willing to take no to) and what actions they can take to care for themselves.

You may love some of their answers. Some of them might be really fucking hard for you.

But clearer truth gives both of you something real to work with and that's the fastest way OUT of this painful dynamic you're in and the fastest way INTO the life that you each really want to be living.

What if I don't know whether I want polyamory?

Tell them the truth about why you're giving it to them.

If what you mean is, “I love you. I don't want to keep abandoning what feels true for me, AND I don't want you abandoning yourself either. I want you to have somewhere to figure out what YOU actually want without worrying about my reaction to every thought and I think this could be really helpful,” say that.

Then give them space to use it—or not use it.

In fact, if you give this to them and they choose NOT to use it, that's invaluable information for you. And YOUR job is not to "get" them to try it, but to figure out what it means to/for you that you're in a relationship with someone who isn't wanting or willing to do this kind of work.

Do they have to complete it over a weekend?

Nope.

I designed it to work over two days, including a 12–24 hour break after Day 1 to let the thoughts and feelings percolate.

But they can do it all at once, spend 10–15 minutes at a time, skip around, dictate their answers or only answer the questions that hit hardest. It's up to them.

There's no prize for completing it “correctly" (except the clarity they will get) and it is NOT your job to track IF they did it or when or how.

Is this a physical workbook?

No.

"But What About Me?" is a 26-page digital workbook delivered as an editable Google Doc.

You'll get access to the digital workbook and can give your partner their own private copy to work in.

Nothing will be shipped. If I create a physical product in the future you will get a good discount as an OG buyer.

Should we go through it together?

Absolutely not.

You and your partner need to work on processing your feelings separately, so they should definitely go through it without you.

They're will be asking themselves questions and explore explore ideas that they may try to censor, soften or avoid if they're thinking about how you'll react to every answer.

Let this be theirs.

There's a Tell Them section at the end specifically designed to help them figure out what they actually DO want to bring back and tell you, but you need to let this be theirs and focus on your own feelings, needs, desires and decisions.

What if doing this makes them realize they don't want the same relationship I do?

That's possible.

But avoiding that truth doesn't make the difference disappear.

The purpose of this workbook is to help your partner get clearer sooner about what feels right and true for them—so BOTH of you have better information about the relationship you're actually in and the choices you each want to make from here.

What will WE actually have when they're done?

Hopefully, something much more useful than another three-hour conversation about how scared they are, how much you love them and how much you will "prove" that love to them by giving up on what actually feels good and right and true to you.

Your partner will be able to come back with clearer language for what they're experiencing, have identified their non-negotiables, the requests they want to make, questions they want answered and actions they're willing to take to care for themself.

In other words, clarity that can actually move the conversation FORWARD instead of keeping you both spinning your wheels.

"

"My conversations with Wendy have really sparked something in me. The values and perspectives she's shared have become some of my core values. She always seems to offer me a perspective that I hadn't seen and it always feels like a relief.

If you have the chance to work with her, just do it!

She's definitely saved my butt and helped me take the edge off my acute heartbreak. There's no one else who has her wisdom, experience and intuition."

-- Tasia C.

"

“I came in thinking I was an impossible case.

Trauma-riddled, poly-resistant, and constantly on edge in my relationship.

Wendy helped me not only survive, but completely rewire how I show up with my partner. I’ve gone from feeling devastated, dysregulated, and betrayed... to clear, calm, and in command of my own boundaries and needs.

For the first time, I can engage with my partner with love and self-trust.

If you’re willing to do your inner work, she will walk with you every step — even if it feels impossible now.”

-- A. McRae

"

"Wendy helps me feel more aware of my feelings moment-to-moment.

The time I spend with her always re-connects me to a wide range of emotions, in a safe and caring context.

If you have the possibility to explore with her, go for it!

-- Genevieve Keller

NVC (Nonviolent Communication Trainer)

"

"Through this work with Wendy, I’m learning to rein in my emotional investment, meet people where they're at, and let things play out without rushing or forcing clarity…That shift has changed everything for me."

-- Jaclyn Z.

Corporate Consultant

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"Wendy really gets it. What she brings to the table is an emotional depth and presence that is hard to come by in any field, but her wisdom and experience both as a business coach and a human navigating conscious intimate relationships is unparalleled. "

-- Mukti Mia Jarvis

Experiential Attachment-Oriented Relationship Therapist

"

"I've made more progress in the short time I've worked with her than in the prior ten years."

-- Cheryl Brunette

Knitting Teacher with 70k Followers on Youtube

Have More Questions?

Use the red heart at the bottom right of the screen to shoot me a message, and I'll respond asap or send me a text (or slightly-rambly audio memo) to 773.615.1382 or email me at wendy@wendygarrido.com.

CONTACT

Email: wendy@wendygarrido.com

Address: PO Box 2617

Nevada City, CA 95959